you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
