Slut skills are useful in every country.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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