i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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