Im at strip club and am horny
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize