She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize