So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
