Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
