dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He? As in you personified your dick?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
