just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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