this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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