im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
