Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
