Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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