it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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