hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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