So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
