It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize