I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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