Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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