I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
