Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
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Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
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I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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