I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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