did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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