TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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