Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
im on a boat
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