1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
