I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
