I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Shame is for Republicans.
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