Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Everything about him screamed your future.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
