I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
