Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize