he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
