I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
