happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
