But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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