she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
