If i come over, it means nothing
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
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I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
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Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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