he puts the penis in happiness.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
