Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
