Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
