he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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