why didn't you poke me back
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Randomize
