Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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