that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
