Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
