i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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