there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
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I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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