Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
