i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
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i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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