Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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