CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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