But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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