so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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