About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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