Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
