im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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