Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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