That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
