I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
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I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
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Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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