my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
we're so committed to being not committed
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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