You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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