please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
