She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Found your dick twin last night
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
