Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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