So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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