It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
