bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
