yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
