plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
