i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
