any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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